I’ll go first and give you my reasons…which nobody asked for haha…
The Green Mile: Ultra sad and overly dramatic, it seemed to fetishise the poor guy who was on death row, which I didn’t like.
The English Patient: Loved the book but hated the movie. Glacially slow and the acting was a bit pompous.
Barbie: It’s literally an homage to an impossibly thin plastic doll and her friends…for adults. The hype about this was for me like everyone around me had had lobotomies.
Oppenheimer: Love Cillian Murphy, but this was about as engaging as watching grass grow in real-time.
Everything, everywhere all at once: So silly and boring I wanted to throw rotten fruit at my projector.
The Royal Tennenbaums: I cringe pretty hard at the staged cutesy-cute-cute of Wes Anderson but this was just too much for me…the ultimate cringe on so many levels.
The Lighthouse: Ultra bleak black and white depictions of people screaming and losing their minds on a remote island…hard pass.
Lock, stock and two smoking barrels: Like a hyped up bunch of male cartoon characters have come to life, but in a silly and painfully self-conscious way.
A clockwork orange: Psychopaths and rapists running around the place hurting people for fun. When I discover someone ‘likes’ this film it’s a bad sign.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: Ferris was such an obnoxious turd in this film but we are supposed to care that he skipped school to be with his friends…I just couldn’t force myself to care, I just didn’t get why he was such hot stuff in this story, he seemed very annoying.
Wizard of Oz: I liked the weirdness of the animals, but overall silly overacting.
What we do in the shadows: As a Kiwi, a lover of Flight of the Conchords and a fan of vampires I should have loved this. Instead I didn’t laugh once and found the entire thing very boring and silly.
Wicked: Absolutely intolerable acting and silly cartoonish plot and characters.
Love Actually: So corney and cringey it feels like torture when I see clips from it.
Alice doesn’t live here anymore: A slow and ultra depressing movie from the 70’s filled with domestic violence, mental illness and tragedy. It seemed to have no point except for making you feel sad.
The Godfather trilogy: Glacially slow and with stubborn, hypermasculine male characters that lacked complexity and whiney hyperfeminine female characters that lacked complexity.
What about you? Any thoughts?
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