The dodgy B-grade VHS movies of my childhood

The dodgy B-grade VHS movies of my childhood

What TV shows did you watch as a kid?

It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realised that the cartoon Gummy Bears wasn’t just in English, it was syndicated all over the world and many other kids knew this theme song in their own language. Here’s the theme song in dozens of different languages. Any late milennials will know the melody.

This chiming theme song is redolent of my childhood. Hearing that the Polish Bear knew the song by heart in Polish was like realising how all people from the same generation have similar childhoods in terms of pop culture. One could cynically say it’s a globalised culture of media, but then again it means two people from opposite sides of the world have a mutual appreciation and mutual understanding in many ways and this realisation can be delightful!

In Aoteaeroa staying at my great uncle’s local Dairy (which he owned) along with all the other mokos (grandchildren) meant a lot of chaos, noise, playing and endless (I mean endless) access to chocolate and fish and chips, kids music magazines like Smash Hits! And VHS tapes of movies totally inappropriate for my tender age (nine or ten).

FYI: A Dairy in New Zealand is the equivalent of a Milk Bar in Australia or a Corner Store/ 7/11 in the US or Japan.

Little did people know who came to the Dairy that all of the kids magazines had been heavily thumbed by chocolate-smeared tiny human paws.

Anyway the stay in the Dairy meant an unlimited selection of shitty, B-grade movies (the kind that went straight to video) from the Dairy era. Nobody ever seemed to rent them out as they were well and truly ancient by the standards of the day. This meant us kids had carte blanche to keep our eyes glued to the TV.

That Dairy in Papakura was the true Halcyon Days of my childhood gluttony and returning to cheese and vegemite sandwiches and school once I came back to Australia was extremely depressing and sad for me. I returned feeling sick and having stomach issues and also I went yellow and jaundiced from the lack of vegetables and only eating fish and chips and hot dogs for several weeks. However being nine I just ran around a bit and the kilos vanished off me and I eventually had normal colouring.

Howard the Duck

The Beastmaster

Others

Published by Content Catnip

Content Catnip is a quirky internet wunderkammer written by an Intergalactic Space Māori named Content Catnip. Join me as I meander through the quirky and curious aspects of history, indigenous spirituality, the natural world, animals, art, storytelling, books, philosophy, travel, Māori culture and loads more.

9 thoughts on “The dodgy B-grade VHS movies of my childhood

    1. Thank you Mike hehehe you know chocolate fish and chips would be the most kiwi food combo of all….maybe a bit like the deep fried Mars Bar of Scotland. Thank you for reading 📚 how’s things in Moeraki going? We love seeing you and look forward to the next time

      Like

      1. I wonder which would be the most heart-stopping?! 😱 it’s finally a wonderful day here. Dug up some native plants from the garden yesterday, and took them out to our community tree planting. Otherwise, all is on-track… 😎😶🫥

        Look forward to catching up with you both again too!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m embarrassed to say that the only show/movie here I watched (or have even heard of) is Robin Hood! 😂The shows I remember are Arthur and Wishbone on PBS, and I watched almost exclusively 90s Disney like Lion King, The Jungle Book, Pocahontas, Tarzan, Hercules, and Aladdin.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah, good to know I wasn’t missing out! 😄 🤣 Shows and movies from the 1990s-early 2000s were so good! I joke with Dr. Zeus that if we have kids, we should just set up a media server with out childhood favorites–The Land Before Time, Rescuers Down Under, old school Sesame Street, etc.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a reply to AM Cancel reply