Finding the flow with writing and polishing a raw piece of meat into a powerful monster

The power of saying ‘No’

I would say I am a typical woman. I am that tired trope and worn-out stereotype of a woman who always smiles and says hi to people first, even if I am having a shit day. I am someone who will move mountains to help other people and do it all outside of office hours or say yes to projects that are not within my job description. And yet, this provides no reprieve from stress, no magical silver bullet to feel better. This does nothing to stoke my ego. It’s simply exhausting. The alternative, which is to say – telling people No has never seemed possible for me. Until a wise and beautiful owl with fluffy, spiky hair who I know very well, told me otherwise.

Here is the most fascinating part of saying no. It’s absolutely liberating and enjoyable. Saying no and ceasing to give a shit about all of the minor psychodramas going on in the workplace, saying no and not being anybody’s obedient lapdog and actually stopping giving a shit because you have other, more pressing priorities to get on with, is very liberating, freeing and empowering. Fuck being amenable and agreeable all of the time, and being the woman who will do everything at a moment’s notice. Fuck even giving a shit about any of it at all. Because a job is a job and a salary and it is not life. Health and wellbeing and personal sanity is more important than being a people-pleaser. That’s all I wanted to say. This was something I learned today.

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7 thoughts on “The power of saying ‘No’

    1. Thank you Kev yeah I feel loads better it’s a big weight off my shoulders. Yeah brutal and raw honestly means better quality writing, more sincere writing and also more chance to really reflect. I censor myself far too much on here going to try and stop that. I am so glad you did the same thing Kev, it really is the best thing for feeling happier eh? take care xx

    1. This is so true Diana!!! Good one to remember when work becomes overwhelming. Yeah nobody has ‘worked long hours, was a workaholic’ on their grave stone haha. I get it from my dad who is like this but its not healthy. He seems to like it though ..not sure why

  1. Truth. You might want to print this off and stick on the wall! Being liked and likeable was essential to staying alive in our past so this is all hard-wired but we can get some perspective. Derek sivers has interesting thoughts on deciding what to agree on….he reckons it’s either a β€˜hell yeah!’ Or a β€˜no’.

    1. I love that hell yeah! or no. I don’t know much about Derek although that name rings a bell, maybe you were talking about him before. I’ve been sticking to it although putting it on the fridge is an awesome idea hehe 😊

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